vampire dreamer


I have got to keep up with the times. As in, really! I mean, I don’t know what’s happening with the world right now, (Egypt’s president stepping down, that I know of, thanks to the internet), my everyday life revolves around waking up at 5:30 am, taking a bath, downing a cup of coffee while fixing myself for work, then off to a nerve-wracking 10-hour work day, go home at around 7pm, endure the 1.5 hours of travel time towards home, eat dinner, lounge in front of my laptop, surf youtube/download songs/download new applications while tweeting, and wait for sleep to come which usually knocks around 12:30-1am nowadays.

 Really, why don’t I just kill myself?

 Sometimes the only updates I get on my friend’s lives are through their facebook pages, twitter, and blogs.  As much as I would like to keep up also and meet personally, work schedules doesn’t permit us to actually have a life. Usually, whenever schedules would jive, so much effort will really be put into it so we can at least see each other, the previous years, this turns out to be every Christmas.

 I miss them. Really.

 It’s not fun to waddle on life’s challenges alone, I know they’re always there when I need someone to talk to, but it’s not easy to do so when the only form of communication you have is thru text messages. It’s hard to live this way, I wish I could just exist in a reality where I and all my friends live in the same building, or work in the same place, or just do the same stuff. Although I’m really sure that last one is out of bounds since we’re into really different things. Hahaha.

 I’m actually at a loss right now, I’m turning 27 this year and I still feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. The amount of work load doesn’t count of course, in that area, I’m like super-duper-accomplished, its just they haven’t promoted me yet. Hahaha but on a serious note, that’s how I feel, I haven’t done what I really want, my family has expectations I have to live up to, and I don’t even know what I REALLY want to do, I want to try so many things all at the same time! I want to travel, I want to write, I want to dance, I want to learn another language, I want to study editing, I want to know about music production, I wanna learn about advertising. It seems that I wanna do so much right? What’s stopping me? Me. I’m stopping myself. I’m scared of what my sisters would think, she’d probably say I’m throwing my life away, since stability is very important for her. I even wonder sometimes why am I the only in my family who doesn’t think like that.


Sana I’ll have the courage soon to throw my life away and start something new. or maybe meet someone that would push me to go for these plans. or both, pwede naman din.

rock on.

annyeong haseyo

lately i've been entertaining myself with anything korean/chinese, i found this stacks of movies i bought before and saw them again last weekend, it's funny to reminisce about those days when the fad was everywhere, my friends and i would go to divisoria if our schedule permits us and buy a lot of movies. there was once a time when a few of us went on a korean binge and tried the food and visited mini-groceries where we bought snacks and chopsticks made of metal. hahaha. i miss those days, we had no care in the world back then and hours went by with us just planning to go on dream vacations.

i haven't been to Korea yet and one friend said it was beautiful there, hoping to go with the family maybe next year, if the threat of war subsides, that is...) it was actually our plan last year but we weren't able to secure visas, so we went to Vietnam instead, this year, we're targeting malaysia. memo to me, learn about malaysia.

i actually just started liking super junior, the 10-person boy band, i've heard of them before already, don't know why i'm just starting to like them now. they dance really, really good. and i'm a sucker for dancers. hahaha

maybe one day i'll be able to blog about my Seoul trip... i'm really crossing my fingers on that.

word block

It really sucks when you know how a story will go, it’s imprinted to the perfect detail in your mind, but the words won’t come out. I don’t know what to call it since you can’t actually consider it as mental block, you have the whole picture playing in your head. It’s the coming out and putting it into paper that’s making me miserable.


I’ve been trying to write this short story as a gift to 2 of my friends, it’s actually sort of a excerpt, I think. I haven’t got the slightest idea why that particular story popped in my head, I was actually just playing my brains out for some kind of idea I can use to push my head into working the creative side again. I already told you that working too much made me lose my mojo, and what’s worse; I’m a NON-MATH type of gal who works with numbers and cost analysis. Talk about irony.


So. my story is, of course, in an alternate reality, the keyword is MY, so buzz off. It’s my words, my idea, happening in my time and in my own world, I can do whatever I want with it. And I’m going to do it actually, I just hope I can get the WORD BLOCK off before sitting down in front of my laptop later.


Funny that you discover bits and pieces of yourself in stories you write, even though you use another name for the heroine, it’s always your personality, your traits, your physical preferences that gives in, ergo, it really is you, experiencing that perfect life you so wanted to have but can’t. Usually the love interest of the heroine’s your perfect dream guy, that one who could not exist in your current reality, or that star you can’t reach no matter how you try. You live in these stories because it’s actually the only way you can survive in your life.


And I’m trying to live that again.

because i miss blogging which is stolen/copied from liz

100 truths

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged . You have to tag the person who tagged you. Ok lang kahit huwag niyo nalang sundin. Haha.


1. Last drink: Milk

2. Last phone call: Supplier

3. Last text message: Nique: Tjane, patrinoma na ako

4. Last song you listened to: Linkin Park, My december

5. Last time you cried: cant remember


6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Been cheated on: no

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: YES.

9. Lost someone special: yes.

10. Been depressed: who doesn't

11. Been drunk and threw up: one i dont want to repeat again


12. Red

13. Blue
14. black


15. Made a new friend: yes.

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Met someone who changed you: yes

19. Found out who your true friends were: already knew who they are

20. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, dont care

21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: define kiss.

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: no idea

23. How many kids do you want?: 3?

24. Do you have any pets: lots

25. Do you want to change your name: no, too unique

26. What did you do for your last birthday: went to work and got stressed

27. What time did you wake up: 5:30am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep

29. Name something you can’t wait for to happen: that.

30. Last time you saw your Mother: kani-kanina lang

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: relocate to somewhere cold. and where fairies exist

32. What are you listening to right now: L2M's version of Goodbye

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no

34. Who is getting on your nerves now?: none

35. Most visited webpage: facebook

36. Whats your real name: funny question

37. Nicknames: all here in this blog

38. Relationship Status: Single

39. Zodiac sign: aries

40. Male or female?: Female

41. Primary School? A private school

42.Secondary school? A private school

43. High school/college?: University of Santo Tomas

44. Hair colour: Black

45. Long or short?: short

46. Height: 5’4"

47. Do you have a crush on someone? i think so

48: What do you like about yourself? kick ass attitude

49. Piercings: Ears

50. Tattoos: 5

51. Righty or lefty: Righty.

52. First surgery: still planning for that

53. First piercing: ears

54. First best friend: annalou

55. First sport you joined: volleyball

56. First vacation: batangas

58. First pair of trainers: what?


59. Eating: still digesting.

60. Drinking: none

61. I’m about to: finish a story

62. Listening to: itunes

63. Waiting for: HIM


64. Want kids?: yes

65. Get married?: when?

66. Career: someone that involves coffee


67. Lips or eyes: both e

68. Hugs or kisses: both

69. Shorter or taller: taller

70. Older or Younger: OLDER

71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantically spontaneous

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: on me? sana both! haha

73. Sensitive or loud: loudly sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship

75. Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble-maker haha


76. Kissed a stranger: no

77. Drank hard liquor: been there,done that

78. Lost glasses/contacts: not yet

79. Sex on first date: NO

80. Broken someone’s heart: still wishing

82. Been arrested: on my wish list

83. Turned someone down: yes.

84. Cried when someone died: yes.

85. Fallen for a friend: yes..


86. Yourself: yes.

88. Love at first sight: yes

89. Heaven: yes

90. Santa Claus: yep, i wanna work with him.

91. Kiss on the first date: yes

92. Angels: yes.


93. Had more than one bf/gf : no

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no

95. Did you sing today: yes

96. Ever cheated on somebody: no

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: my seventh bday

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: YES.

100. Posting this as 100 truths?: no
emo butterfly

mojo-jojo where are you?

its really funny when you thought you finally got over something. and then one thing comes out of the blue and you're back from where you've started from.

its really not easy to forget when everything in the universe seems to conspire to make you remember. i maybe losing my mind already. some happenings now are making me reminisce about the days back when i was younger and had nothing dreamed of than to be with one person in another country. it was that surreal feeling when you still have hope left in your system. sadly, the only hope left in me is probably the one i has tattooed in greek.

i really wish i can get that feeling back, the one that makes you want to face every challenge in life, the one that makes you wake up in the morning even though you're very much exhausted from last night, that feeling when you think an ice cream cone can cure any pain.

i also want it back because i wanna write again, the creative mojo is nowhere to be found right now.

i really want it back.

Many Bloody Returns

Almost 2 weeks left of September, almost all the malls are gearing up for the Christmas season, jingles are playing on the radio already, but somehow the Christmas bug hasn’t bitten me yet.




I’m reading Many bloody returns right now, its an anthology of stories about vampire and birthdays and most of the stories are actually hilarious, can't wait to finish it, I’m been trying really hard to get some reading time done every night but the travel time beats me up too much that I get so sleepy when I get home.


Last night I was able to finish the Witch and the wicked, it’s about a witch who wants to start a cosmetics business, she then got this idea of using a vampire’s ash ( her employer’s husband actually since she was also a caterer) for age-defying purposes of her night cream. She was the first tester of the product and by some weird magic, the vampire came alive again through her, its like having 2 souls ( for a vampire, im not really sure what’s it called) in one body, and they plan on taking the wife’s blood as a substitute for the ash for the night cream, at the same time, the husband can get his revenge on her.


It’s funny right?! Its so absurd, its entertaining! I love this book, I still have like 9 books lined up for reading, the last I bought was 3 books from Holly Black, I actually read the first in the series when I was in college, Tithe, but I lent it to a friend and well, graduation happened so.. bye-bye book. Anyway, I saw it again last Saturday and I got another copy together with the 2 other books in the series. I’m beginning to do this kind of habit where I buy all the books if I can, because from my experience, every time I come back for the sequel of a book, it’s not available, and it would be years before I get a chance to come across it again.


I’m still waiting for a new Neil Gaiman book, golly I miss the man’s writings!

mirror mask

middle class reads

I saw the movie version of Iron Will last Saturday on Hbo, and it really brought back memories, I used to borrow this book from our library all the time and have read it a dozen times, this was the highlight of my reading path that started in my elementary days. I never tire of the story because I love the sense of adventure and bravery and the dogs. Although, I’ve always imagined Will Stoneman to be younger in the book.

 Another immortal read for me was Heidi by Johanna Spyri.its the story of a young girl who befriends her grandfather and learns to read and write and helps another girl to walk. The story’s your typical good orphan girl who manages to make everyone like her. For a 9-year-old girl, it was the ultimate read because the heroine of the story travels to other places and tastes independence at such an early age. I really liked that story and I think I was its most frequent borrower, based on the track card at the back of the book.

 Seeing iron will made me want to re-read these classics again and once I’m able to pass by a bookstore, I will definitely get myself a copy.

catching up with my nose

i woke up this morning feeling funny and with my nose running. i hate it.

it's almost 2 pm and i ahve been having sneezing marathons since this morning and its killing me. i mean, i've only had 2 tablets but i already feel like my head's floating. i wanna go home and sleep. i've been continuously supplying myself with coffee to stay awake and i really have to get the newest production plan so i can work on the delivery schedules. crap.

i dont know what happened, times like these, i just wanna curl up and die.

or just stay at home and sleep my ass off. whatever comes first.

i cant wait for tomorrow's holiday and time is ticking VERY S-L-O-W-L-Y....

one co-worker said it's allergies and she just went out to get me antihistamines.

one co-worker said my sinus is acting up.

one friend said it was cute to have sneezing marathons.


had a very weird dream last night, all i remember are snippets actually, but still vivid. anyway, i think the office was relocating to another place and most of the people are busy with packing their things.

then the next scene was i was sitting on our leather sofa inside a room, most of the people were resting from the packing and i'm wondering why our sofa was there. then he was there sitting beside me and we wre going to take a nap, then the lights dimmed and i try adjusting to a more comfortable position and i was using the big pillow as a cover and tried to share the pillow with him as well. 

then something happened, something that i really cant  write here, DONT GET TOO EXCITED, its not that.  crap. anyway, after that happened, i woke up and a girl came in and she was demanding that he leaves me for her, and i got pissed so i left them.


and that was the most that i can remember.


august 31 2010

updates yeah! i've been gone here for so long, because i really dont have anything to write about. hardeeharhar i'm kinda trying to update due to Penpen's request.

so... what happened to me during these past few months..

well, i've been sober for 4 months already, yay!!! will try to keep this up but since octoberfest is right around the corner and my upcoming bohol trip is just 2 months away, i will have to gain control over the drinking urges!

Bohol trip! finalized everything, the airline tickets and the hotel, all done for, all we have to do is wait for Nov. 26. i'm not that excited yet because i have work to worry about, but yeah, come November, i'll probably do a countdown for it like the one before for the Vigan Trip.

and i've been drowining in Jon Foo madness right now, i love him and i want to marry him, watched Tekken twice already but i can't get enough of his accent, golly, i sound like a girl!! but yeah, i love him, found out he was on House on Fury, but i cant remember, i will have to watch that again this weekend. he's gonna play Ryu in Streetfighter too, he's being typecast for those roles but couldn't care less as long as i can see him more often.

what else? got another hand-me-down laptop from my sister who just bought a Mac (she si driving me crazy since most of her files aren't playable in itunes) , an aspire one, used only for a year, compared to my old one, that's golden already! already organized some of the files, and will be setting up my own itunes library so i wont have to wait for Nicolo to come home anymore.

Speaking of nicolo, he's recorded some songs which will be given as a souvenir for their project, i actually have it on my Ipod, but forgot to Include "Everybody knows" which is my favorite cover of him.

that seems to be it.