redd_rock (chocfreak) wrote,

three words

hmmm. this started as a tweet and now it's haunting me.

i wanna cure this thing, i never been able to say I LOVE YOU in a serious way, to my parents, to my sisters, i probably drop it once or twice to my friends but that turn out to be more than a joke than an actual fact. i do write them in letters and notes, though when i think of it, the way i also wrote them  is sort of funny too...

don't know why i feel awkward around those three words, maybe it's because i never heard them in our house, my family is very vocal about everything, believe me.. but when it comes to saying how we feel, all of use have a problem, i think it's in the genes.. or something...

come on, you think i'm weird right? well, i feel like it anyway. sometimes my imagination gets hold of me and i suddenly get sucked into this fantasy world where all i dream of happens... and then i wake up and realize that there must be something wrong with me because it's not normal for people to live their fantasies.
i'm scared that i get into deep than i forget about reality permanently. although, if i think about it, that sounds awesome.

so how to cure it, probably if i ahd someone to practice saying it to, that might help... or if practice with my family first, but they will probably laugh at me, they're just.. like that...
well, this is frustrating....

someday, maybe i'll find the courage to say those words out loud... even though i don't say it very often, i do hope they feel that i do love them.
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