redd_rock (chocfreak) wrote,


I have got to keep up with the times. As in, really! I mean, I don’t know what’s happening with the world right now, (Egypt’s president stepping down, that I know of, thanks to the internet), my everyday life revolves around waking up at 5:30 am, taking a bath, downing a cup of coffee while fixing myself for work, then off to a nerve-wracking 10-hour work day, go home at around 7pm, endure the 1.5 hours of travel time towards home, eat dinner, lounge in front of my laptop, surf youtube/download songs/download new applications while tweeting, and wait for sleep to come which usually knocks around 12:30-1am nowadays.

 Really, why don’t I just kill myself?

 Sometimes the only updates I get on my friend’s lives are through their facebook pages, twitter, and blogs.  As much as I would like to keep up also and meet personally, work schedules doesn’t permit us to actually have a life. Usually, whenever schedules would jive, so much effort will really be put into it so we can at least see each other, the previous years, this turns out to be every Christmas.

 I miss them. Really.

 It’s not fun to waddle on life’s challenges alone, I know they’re always there when I need someone to talk to, but it’s not easy to do so when the only form of communication you have is thru text messages. It’s hard to live this way, I wish I could just exist in a reality where I and all my friends live in the same building, or work in the same place, or just do the same stuff. Although I’m really sure that last one is out of bounds since we’re into really different things. Hahaha.

 I’m actually at a loss right now, I’m turning 27 this year and I still feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. The amount of work load doesn’t count of course, in that area, I’m like super-duper-accomplished, its just they haven’t promoted me yet. Hahaha but on a serious note, that’s how I feel, I haven’t done what I really want, my family has expectations I have to live up to, and I don’t even know what I REALLY want to do, I want to try so many things all at the same time! I want to travel, I want to write, I want to dance, I want to learn another language, I want to study editing, I want to know about music production, I wanna learn about advertising. It seems that I wanna do so much right? What’s stopping me? Me. I’m stopping myself. I’m scared of what my sisters would think, she’d probably say I’m throwing my life away, since stability is very important for her. I even wonder sometimes why am I the only in my family who doesn’t think like that.


Sana I’ll have the courage soon to throw my life away and start something new. or maybe meet someone that would push me to go for these plans. or both, pwede naman din.

rock on.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.